Epitaph
[ep-i-taf] noun
- a commemorative inscription on a tombstone or monument
- a speech or written passage composed in commemoration of a dead person
- a final judgment on a person or thing
"If all would speak as kindly of the living as in epitaphs
they do of the dead, slander and gossip would soon be strangers."
~Edward Bulwer, English politician, poet, playwright, and novelist.
Despite Mr. Bulwer's opinion that all epitaphs are flattering, the fact of the matter is that there can be found as many variations on epitaphs as there are human emotions. Of course, you can find a wealth of pithy, sweet sayings, often in poem form, about the loss of a loved one, but with a little searching you can find a wealth of epitaph moods and purposes, including warning, humor, religious hope, anger, sympathy for a suffering death and love.
Unfortunately, for the most part the use of epitaphs on gravestones seems to have gone out of fashion. Currently, most graves simply report names, dates. Often if it says anything it might read the survivors relationship to the deceased, such as: Grandmother, Aunt, Beloved Mother and Loving Wife. Is this brevity a response to the cost of grave markers? Or perhaps it is due to reduced size of markers, as many modern cemeteries only allow flat brass plaques.
It is noticeable that the expression, "departed this life," is used on the older stones, while that of, "died," appears on the more recent ones. A century ago most headstones started with the phrase " Sacred to the memory of...", A few decades ago the phrase often repeated was "Rest In Peace", while one of the saddest graveyard images to see is a forgotten, neglected grave covered in weeds and vines, half fallen over bearing the words: Gone But Not Forgotten.
Often epitaphs are warnings of doom intended to remind the reader of their own mortality. Here is an example:
Kind friends beware as you pass by,
As you are now so once was I;
As I am now so you must be.
Prepare, therefore to follow me.
As you are now so once was I;
As I am now so you must be.
Prepare, therefore to follow me.
Roman Catholic Cemetry, Holmdel, Monmouth County, New Jersey
from the grave of Bridget, wife of Barney Cine, who died Feb 28, 1870
from the grave of Bridget, wife of Barney Cine, who died Feb 28, 1870
The next epitaph expresses sorrow and appreciation for the Lord and the death he provided as a mercy.
Afflictions sore for months I bore,
Physician’s aid and skill were vain.
My God alone did hear my groan,
And He hath ended in death my pain.
Requisite in peace, Maria.
Physician’s aid and skill were vain.
My God alone did hear my groan,
And He hath ended in death my pain.
Requisite in peace, Maria.
New Lots road, Fllatbush burying ground (Dutch), Brooklyn, NY
From the grave of Maria Eldert who died of the grip when it was still called influenza
recorded in the Brooklyn Daily Eagle, 31 May 1891, Page 15.
From the grave of Maria Eldert who died of the grip when it was still called influenza
recorded in the Brooklyn Daily Eagle, 31 May 1891, Page 15.
The following epitaph provides family information, the date and EXACT age of death, as well as the fact that he died young and unexpectedly, notes that he will be missed by relatives, friends and all who knew him AND a profession of faith...In Rhyme, no less. What more could you want?
In memory of Garret, son of Peter and Elizabeth Stillwaggon,
who died January 3rd, 1843, aged 23 years, 2 months and 18 days
In bloom of youth snatched away,
From parents, friends and all.
My willing soul I resign,
To Jesus at his call.
who died January 3rd, 1843, aged 23 years, 2 months and 18 days
In bloom of youth snatched away,
From parents, friends and all.
My willing soul I resign,
To Jesus at his call.
Garrett Stillwaggon headstone at Old Holmdel Yard, Holmdel, Monmouth, New Jersey
This mysteries mysterious epitaph leaves us wondering what Molly could have done to deserve this memorial:
"Molly tho pleasant in her day
Was sudd'nly siezed and sent away
How soon shes ripe how soon shes rottin
Sent to her grave & soon for gottin."
Was sudd'nly siezed and sent away
How soon shes ripe how soon shes rottin
Sent to her grave & soon for gottin."
Milford Cemetey, Milford, Connecticut, USA
From the grave of Molly Fowler Born 1769 Died Feb. 1, 1792.
Source: www.FindaGrave.com, Grave of Mary Fowler
From the grave of Molly Fowler Born 1769 Died Feb. 1, 1792.
Source: www.FindaGrave.com, Grave of Mary Fowler
In the category of Almost Anything Goes, here is an example of grave humor:
Two things I love most,
Good horses and beautiful
Women, and when I die I hope
They tan this old hide of mine
And make it into a ladies riding
Saddle so I can rest in peace
Between the two things I love Most.
Good horses and beautiful
Women, and when I die I hope
They tan this old hide of mine
And make it into a ladies riding
Saddle so I can rest in peace
Between the two things I love Most.
Logan City Cemetery, Logan, Cache County, Utah
From the grave of Russell James Larsen Born Dec. 16, 1921 Died Jan. 26, 1983
Source: www.FindaGrave.com, grave of Russel James Larsen
From the grave of Russell James Larsen Born Dec. 16, 1921 Died Jan. 26, 1983
Source: www.FindaGrave.com, grave of Russel James Larsen
Another notable self-written epitaph had the residents of Yarmouth Port, Massachusetts. address the courts in an effort to have the stone removed. Apparently, Mary Dolencie's neighbors didn't appreciate her love of cats. Perhaps this is a cautionary tale about making peace while you can or loving your neighbor, before its too late. What a sad shame this lady went to her grave so full of anger. Rest in Peace, Mary.
May eternal damnation be
Upon those in Whaling Port.
Who, without knowing me,
Have maliciously vilified me.
May the curse of God
Be upon them and theirs.
Upon those in Whaling Port.
Who, without knowing me,
Have maliciously vilified me.
May the curse of God
Be upon them and theirs.
Ancient Cemetery, Yarmouth Port, Barnstable County,Massachusetts
From the grave of Mary C. Dolencie Born May 14, 1906. Died Nov. 9, 1985.
Source: FindAGrave.c om, grave of Mary C. Dolencie
More information about Mary Dolencie can be found at this blog post: https://marydolencie.wordpress.com/
From the grave of Mary C. Dolencie Born May 14, 1906. Died Nov. 9, 1985.
Source: FindAGrave.c om, grave of Mary C. Dolencie
More information about Mary Dolencie can be found at this blog post: https://marydolencie.wordpress.com/
The epitaph to the right is a poem engraved on the back of the headstone of Patrick and Anne Marie Baird McGill, buried in Saegertown Cemetery, Crawford County, Pennsylvania. She was my 5th Great Grandmother and must have been loved dearly. This epitaph is a blessing to our family as little is known about Anne, although her husband's history is well documented.
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Sad sad was our parting for much did we love thee, Yet would we repine at the way of our Lord ? Then sleep neath the grass Which is growing above thee Till roused by the sound of the Angels words. Yes mournfully think of her now since days gone and speak of her kindness, her love and truth; and patiently hope at the last rising dawn in glory to view her immortal in youth. |
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